Foundations

It’s hard to believe really. Like all lasting projects or businesses, constructing a firm foundation to work on is essential. I have been working on MFP for eight months or so, and finally, I discovered yesterday how stable my foundation had finally become. With all my technology in place, all my contacts (most of them anyway) easily contacted and ordered from, and all supplies effectively figured, I am doing very well for myself. I am getting 5,000 sheets or paper for 35 dollars roughly. That’s enough for 100 books. My printer takes all the toner I damn well please, and toner itself can be gotten from anywhere and for any model, a reasonably easy find. My latest cover material, Bristol board from the bargain shop, gives me four covers for 77 cents. It’s wonderful stuff. I managed to download the test program for Microsoft word 2010. It’s called Microsoft Beta 2010, and it is a miracle worker for formatting. I can comfortably cram many more words per page, and my awesome Minolta is basically this program’s sole mate. This sting of facts came to mind yesterday, when I decided my latest book was ready to go.

This was an exciting time for me. This is, so critics say, my best novel yet, and I was looking forward to seeing it in print. I got myself ready for a fight, as is always the case when starting with a new book. I expected the dreaded ‘toner exhausted’ to somehow escape my SAMSUNG and crawl its way to my Minolta, dooming my efforts to failure. I was waiting to hear news of paper costs skyrocketing for no rational reason. I even daydreamed the police would come charging through my front door, shouting that printing cheap books on my own was illegal. With utter amazement, I formatted (20 min), I printed (5 min), I cut and pressed (30 min), then finally I bound and covered (20 min). Nothing failed on me. No supplies are even close to running low. Not a single piece of anything ignited out of spite or deactivated for the sake of money. Everything worked. I have a somewhat hard time believing how easy it happened to be, but I doubt that simplicity will continue. The fact remained that I have a foundation. I’m through the thick of it, and that’s priceless.

Common Knowledge

There are a fair few people you could learn from when doing what I’m doing. Every somewhat aware person you talk to at Basics about paper sizes could drop you come perspective changing information. I’ve had plenty of these little gems given to me. Yet there was a fatale flaw in the way I saw this knowledge. I always took it as fact, despite the source. I often assumed that someone in a Basics or Staples store must know everything about office supplies. That is just one example, but it applies abroad. I failed to take the information at face value, to understand that their words were not the ‘be all and end all’. For me, I was acting as someone would if they were informed lava was hot. I’ve never encountered the stuff, but I’ll take their work for it.

Still, my mechanic is far more experienced with people selling a product than myself. His one quotation sticks with me. “When talking to someone on any specific topic, assume you’re the smarter one until they prove you wrong.” This could have saved me a fair bit of money since I started this project in September.

I had a reminder of how this is true just today. You see, I had bought $300 worth of toner for my SAMSUNG printer. As I have mentioned time and time again, his printer is designed to keep me paying through the nose, and for the last month, I was terrified I had wasted $300 on toner I wouldn’t be able to use! It took me an eternity to get the proper pieces and cords to get my newest printer up and running. It’s a Minolta, one built in 2002, which is the Stone Age when considering printers. This was its blessing, believe it or not. It was build a while ago, meaning it isn’t as obsesser proof (me) as the SAMSUNG. It has no programming or chip that tells the printer to stop working after a specific number of pages. A cartridge can be refilled at will as many times as I damn well please with no resistance from the printer. In fact, there is a handy little cap on the top of each cartridge that is designed solely for someone so inclined. There was just one problem with this little wonder (really big wonder, actually).

Each printer is built to take a very personal mix of toner. When getting toner for a printer, you always get the personal mix the company insists it needs. Oh, and guess what else. Lava’s hot! My new printer was already low on toner, so it ran out rather quickly. So what did I do? I figured I would took up what mix it would need, and see if I could get a few bottles, practically tripping over the toner I already had on my way to the computer. I have only ever heard that you have to use the right mix of toner for your printer. I have never so much as heard someone suggest otherwise. It then occurred to me. What are the odds those people have tried? I emptied a bottle of SAMSUNG toner into my Minolta cartridge, clipped the thing in place, and ordered it to print. It worked wonderfully, and has continued to do so all day.

As always, assume you’re the smarter. This is only my experience with the lava known as toner. For all I know, my printer will explode the next time I try using it, but I doubt it. I think it’s more likely that my new desktop background it correct. “Toner is toner is toner is toner.” This is an exciting prospect for me, seeing as I know places where they have cartridges on sale for dirt cheap, simply because no one has the model the toner is meant for. I’ll buy as many as I need and cannibalize them for their toner. If you were thinking of doing the same, I would recommend a re-store like ‘Habitat for Humanity’. They have all kinds of stuff from what I hear. If you check one out and there’s nothing there, odds are I beat you to the punch.

Forgive the jest. At the moment, I’m at no shortage of toner, but I almost look forward to getting more. It’s been a long time coming, but I finally have the capacity to simply print without the hindrance of buying the proper brand or paying over $100 for a new cartridge every time. It’s so relieving. Turns out this lava is on par with an awesome back rub.

Backup

I had a grim reminder of how vulnerable my work is a week ago. Because I write novels for print, it is a necessity to do such writing on a computer, and have it in a digital state. In total, I had three complete books, and two well under way. My essay count was well over forty and I had three short stories I was very proud of. It hadn’t occurred to me how concentrated all of my work was. I didn’t realize that it was almost all on this simple computer. Six years worth of labour, all in one spot. Yes, my computer crashed, along with everything on it. Even my latest project, something separate from novel publication, was all lost. My precious photos and music was wiped clean. Much of it had come from local artists for book covers and such. It was offal.

It turned out my hard drive simply died, and it would need replacing. The information on it wasn’t easily retrievable, but thankfully, I had a single USB with all my novels back up on it…only a week before the crash. Previous to that week, I would have lost five months worth, in my stupidity. That would have cost me two entire books; all edits for the other three, and my short stories. My newest project, something that had taken the last month, has been lost completely. I hadn’t thought to back it up at all. I will have to restart. Much of my artwork and saved information I had gained from e-mails and facebook messages, which I luckily still had. Finally, all of my essays were online in some capacity or another. After spending a grand amount of money to have my computer fixed, I spend five hours reconstructing my computer and all it’s files. I have been set back a total of two weeks and $100 dollars, but it could have been much worse.

I could have lost the novel that took me five years to write. I could have lost all my saved formatting and editing. All of my work was at risk. Immediately after the crash, I knew that the single USB sitting on my desk was suddenly worth a few thousand dollars, and the feeling wasn’t comforting. I don’t know what I would have done had I truly been set back six years, so for goodness sakes, backup everything you care about. I’ve been trying to re-write the last weeks worth of work, and doing something you’ve already done is painful. I just know, that I had written it better the first time, and I have no choice but to push my way alone.

Victory

To think, I thought I was waking up to a regular morning. I should have learned by now that my life involves no such mornings. I was discussing the issue I was having with SAMSUNG cartridge chips, and how they refused to work, with my mechanic. It’s in situations like this that I feel the need to force my mechanic to take an IQ test. I swear the man’s a genius. He brought up a very valid point.

You see, for the printer to know a cartridge has been used, it runs a short warm-up scan before being prepared to print. He pointed out that without this scan, the printer would have no idea the cartridge was used. Without the scan, my printer would work for once. It was something, but I had no idea how in hell we were going to stop the scan all together, and I also believed that the warm-up was important for other functions in the printer, making it a necessity. My mechanic suggested that we allow the scan to happen with a working chip, then change the cartridge to a used one, without it re-scanning. This way, the printer should believe it was working with a new chip, and do its work as required. The logic was sound, but the printer rescanned every time the ‘front tray’ (the opening that allows you to switch cartridges) was opened. When closed, it began re-scanning. This didn’t let us change the cartridges after scanning without it re-scanning. It was at this point that, believe it or not, I had a stellar idea.

I went to my printer and made sure it was off. I opened it and put in my only working chip (and new cartridges that cost $100). Instead of closing the tray, I located its sensor. A sensor is the point inside the tray that is held down then the door is closed. Simply put, it’s the thingy that tells the printer when the tray is closed. Instead of closing the door so the printer could be turned on and warmed up, I took a screwdriver and stuck it in the sensor, holding it down. As far as the printer would know, the tray was closed. Turning on my printer, the scan began. It read the cartridge and determined that It was a valid one. Once it was ready to print, I freely removed the cartridge and stuck in a used and refilled one. Seeing as the printer believed the door wasn’t opened, it also believed it was still working with the new cartridge. Then, with a great deal of satisfaction, I ordered it to print, and print it did. This means, whenever a scan commences, I only have to stick in my working chip, then without using it to print, I switch the cartridges and have at it!

The only note of caution is that you need a working chip for this to work. As long as you don’t actually print with it, theoretically, you should be able to keep this up forever! Perhaps SAMSUNG has another trick up its sleeve somewhere, and this isn’t my final challenge, but as my mechanic often says, “It’s all mechanical. At the simplest level, it’s just a series of small parts either moving or not. We just have to find the right part.” Wouldn’t you know it, the proper part was one of the easiest ones to get at. If you are dealing with a different problem when using your printer, or any other piece of technology, just keep in mind, you are smarter that it. The reason I won this victory was only because it doesn’t realize it’s main tray is open. Now my costs are cut in half, and Metcalfe Family Publishing is back in action.

VICTORY!!!

…Wrong!!!

Wouldn’t you know it, SAMSUNG’s magic struck again. Granted, I was able to print with chipless cartridges. It was a cool trick to have learned, but the printer was ready for it. I believe I have finally figured out how it works. Here is a small summery. Each chip has its own identity, which in itself is ludicrous, but it gets better. The printer reads the chip and keeps track of each one individually. That means its memory is capable of keeping track of copious identities. It can thus stop printing, with or without the chip. So as I was printing along, thinking I had outsmarted the thing, ‘Toner Exhausted’ eventually scared my eyes.

This was three to four weeks ago, and trust me, I was sick of printers. I would have to spend another one hundred dollars on another cartridge. I put this off however, having more than enough books printed to deal with. Though all this time, I didn’t so much as look at the stupid chips. I did my best to focus on the brighter sides of life, and was doing okay. I managed to find other things to work on, and have begun an exciting new project that I will touch on in a different post.

In the last few days, I have been working with a potential solution to my problems, a solution that literally called me up one night, and came knocking on my front door the following morning.

I had discussed my problems with an older cousin of mine about three months ago, and he had some suggestions. He was helpful at the time, and gave me a new direction to go in for a while. When, as usual, I hit a wall, and began trying other ideas. Interestingly enough however, he was the one calling me that particular evening. What amazing luck! His company had received a donation of two printers from the RCMP. As far as I know, they had been used to print counterfeit bills, and now had little purpose. My cousin was asked to “get these printers out of the way” and he called me almost immediately afterwards. After checking their model numbers and capacity, I found that one (an HP) didn’t print on both sides, so it wasn’t much good to me. The other one however, a titanic Minolta, was one of the most beautiful things I had seen in a while. I sent him an e-mail, outlining my assessment. I woke the following morning to find my cousin had made the long trip, and delivered the beauty. I looked it over in awe. Let me share the big jaw droppers.

It could take pages four times the size as my other printers. It took half the energy than my SAMSUNG to run. Its memory looked quite small. Finally, my personal favourite, I was made in 2002, a time before toner cartridge chips! Not only were these cartridges easily replaced, but they were easily reusable. On top of each was a little cap, ready to accept toner. I was ecstatic, and looked forward to trying it. If it could pump out counterfeit bills, it could certainly print books. I went to plug it in, when I found something rather aggravating. The connection cable was missing! This was a mission that needed doing.

Its greatest gift was also its greatest curse. Being made in 2002, it was not equipped with a USB cable port. It used something called a ‘parallel cable’, something I had never dealt with before. I later found out that it look a special kind, something called ‘mini-centronic cable end’. It took time, but I was able to have a local computer genius order an adapter for me. Now I wait, to see if all my problems are solved…or rather replaced. Every new piece of equipment is it’s own journey.

I was sitting in my office when my mechanic came in. We talked about this new printer a bit, discussed what I was doing on my computer, and a few other things, as we often do. “Let me see those damned chips again,” he said, “It’s time to destroy the pieces of crap.” By “destroy” I knew he went: begin trying things that could very well render the chip useless. He must have had a few ideas that had been too dangerous to attempt. Now however, it would be a pointless loss. Still I hoped his new ideas involved a hammer. I handed him a chip and he pulled out some sand paper. Ruthlessly, he used it to scratch one of the sensors on the chip until its golden surface was silver (the one labelled DATA). Handing it back to me, he said, “Try that.” Laughing, I decided to humour him.

…It worked.

Bookies

The title has no real relevance to the post. I was just in a good enough mood to enjoy some wordplay. Today was the day I got into my first bookstore. Oh what an experience it was! I’ve been working towards this for a very long time. I can honestly say years.

This morning I made sure to get out of bed at the proper hour, dress warmly, then make the lengthy trip. Everything went swimmingly, except for the cursed Christmas music persisting over the radio. You could imagine how torturous it was for me, seeing as I was actually happy when Miley Cyrus took over.

Besides the crappy music, I entered a modest little place called Solstice Books in good spirits, and put my books on the front counter. The man knew who I was instantly, and offered his hand with a cheery smile. I had only communicated with him through E-mail, so this was a welcome change for us both. The interaction forced me to smile to myself, seeing the surprise in his eyes as he finally became aware of my young age. After some simple paper word, I shook his hand again and exited the building with a newly inspired confidence. Taking that confidence, I decided I wasn’t stopping there for today.

I returned to my vehicle and picked up an extra copy of each book, marching onward to a slightly larger bookstore. I had E-mailed this particular place about taking my book already, but hadn’t gotten a response after a three-week wait. As a very intelligent woman once said to me, it is hard to refuse someone to their face. Once inside, I asked around until I found the owner. I was surprised to find out she knew exactly who I was, and honestly hadn’t deleted my E-mail. She just had a great many things on her plate at the moment. Wouldn’t you know it, she was happy that I had showed up. Me coming in personally saved her much work on the computer. She offered potential ideas for sales, I chose one that suited me, and the two of us signed the paper word. I handed over the two books I held, browsed the store, then left with a ‘thank you’.

After picking up some more paper and grabbing something I think may just word for new cover material, I headed home. It was a very productive day, and I can’t deny some level of pride. I managed to signed agreements with two bookstores in a single day. Even if none of the books sell, I’ll still be content.

Long Time No Type

It has been a very long time since I last reported anything on behalf of Metcalfe Family Publishing. There has been a glaring and aggravating reason why. In short, nothing has been happening! I do recall mentioning a small problem I was having with SAMSUNG technology, as I usually am. The situation got tricky, then it got lengthy. I will see how well I could summarize this.

To start, know that each new toner cartridge comes with a chip, which for the longest time I was convinced didn’t do anything. This little assumption came from me being able to use a starter cartridge that has no chip at all. So that led me to believe that the problem was mechanical. There was something, I thought, inside each cartridge that was telling my printer it was empty. It wasn’t empty of course, because I was pumping it full of toner myself. Still my printer refused to work, constantly flashing ‘toner exhausted’ on its tiny view screen.

So, in this mindset, a licensed mechanic, a licensed electrician, and myself dedicated much of our time into taking a cartridge apart, learning its secrets, and putting it back together. The first day was probably the hardest physically. We must have taken that thing apart twenty times. It took so long. Every time we think we changed something, the contraption had to be re-assembled and tested in the printer. No luck on our first day. Sure enough, we tackled it again, and again, and again. It was starting to wear on my nerves. I had waited an eternity for my toner shipment to come in, and on the eave of being able to print again, I ran into the curse known as: toner exhaustion. After all these trifles, I finally caved. I needed a new cartridge, and a new chip. (Keep in mind, it was the chip I actually needed. I had plenty of working cartridges, and there was only $10 worth of toner in a new one. I have $300 worth sitting in a box behind me. I was paying $96 for a bloody chip!)

Anyway, I have come to the following conclusion about the system’s workings. Each chip is able to read how many pages have been printed with it. After one and a half refills, the chip stops the printer from using it. The printer has it’s own memory, that keeps track of how many pages have been printed using chipless cartridges, and only allows for the equivalent of one cartridge being refilled the same number of times with an unused chip. That means my printer will no longer accept chipless cartridges, because I’ve ‘used all the credit’ so to speak. This led me to an idea. If the printer was keeping track of all chipless cartridges, then all I needed to do was somehow reset my printers memory, then maybe it would accept chipless cartridges again! This turned out to be a disappointment. I looked through the manual, I opened up the printer and looked for the memory chip (too complicated to be messing with), I even called SAMSUNG worldwide, and talked to some young woman looking at the same guide as myself. Nothing worked. It is very hard for me to believe that SAMSUNG designers created this printer with ludicrous people like myself in mind. They managed to make it obsessor proof.

My attention was turned back to the cursed chips. My electrician and mechanic took a new working chip and an old crap chip. They took all kind of weird machines and testers to both chips, trying to find out why one worked, and the other refused. No dice. They read out exactly the same.

Though, after having sat in my office for hours, starring loathingly at my printer, trying to use mind power to somehow force it out my window and have it fall the three-story drop, I think I finally figured out how it was stopping me. I think I know how the printer somehow knows that the cartridge has been used, despite the fact the chips act no different. The answer was so simple…Magic. SAMSUNG has some elderly witch in a sweatshop somewhere, enchanting chip after chip as they pass by, ensuring that the efforts of any mere mortal couldn’t possibly crack the problem. That’s my running theory anyway.

My only remaining option is to find where I can get those chips for far less that $96. For now however, I am printing again, and will hopefully be in my first bookstore by Monday! Hell, I should put all my money into bushcraft lessons and start living in the forest early…why wait?

Book Launch

After much preparation, I took a trip to the old high school today for my long awaited book launch. It really has been an amazing experience getting this far. I only graduated from that school last year, so I saw many dear friends and teachers. Initially, I had the simple intention of stopping by the library and seeing if anyone was interested in a book. Once I mentioned the idea to one of the teachers, they wouldn’t have it! A great deal of the staff got behind me and insisted that this turn into a full scale book launch, and it certainly did. They contacted the local radio and newspaper, seeing if they could announce the event. I ended up going in for an interview with the paper and writing a small essay to the radio. Sure enough, they ran with it. Posters were put up in the school and I even merited the morning announcements. I was astonished to have been so powerfully supported by the community surrounding me, (one teacher in particular got the ball rolling). It would appear the idea of self-publication easily catches the eyes of the majority.

It would appear I don’t get out nearly enough, because showing my face in public yesterday and today actually got some response. Don’t take this as a sign of arrogance. I’m just not use to, “you’re that young man who was in the paper, aren’t you?” People actually knew who I was as I carried my box of books around (not that this wasn’t enough of a give away).

When I first got there, I only spoke to a few individuals, calmly waiting my turn in the library. Honestly, I was hoping to hear how live had been for others recently, instead of having them inquire about the book business. It comes to the point when I’m just sick of talking about books. Because I’m so rarely seen, people can only be sure that I have been working on my books. Not much else could be happening to me in my little office, hidden away from the world.

To begin the book launch, I was asked to do a reading before actually selling anything. I was expecting a solid…five people to show up. Wouldn’t you know it, I had a total of thirty, sitting and watching me read the prologue of my first novel. It was alien for me to be reading out loud like that, but I had undergone my share of practice, so it went well. I found trying to make a female voice overly difficult however. Being on the tail end of my teen years, my voice isn’t as flexible as it used to be. I was given applause, and I thanked the many people involved in making this little dream a reality.

Finally, I was able to start my sales, and start I did! Teachers and students came forward and offered me paper support (money) while I handed back paper labour (books). I sold upwards of thirty books, and not a single buyer would accept their copy without my signature. Any buyers that had forgotten initially, well, they hunted me down. Even the school library came and bought a few copies. That was the real kicker for me.

At the end of the day, after having visited a few classes and spoken to a few old friends, I returned to the library. I went to the librarian and asked if I could put my books on the shelf. She said I could, and ran to get her camera. She was one of my many friends at the school, and insisted that this moment was worth documenting.

Now keep in mind, I have nothing against the book series Twilight. I think if you enjoy the story and writing style, that’s your opinion alone. Still I felt the need to make the joke.

“I’m content as long as I’m not beside the Twilight series,” I jested, as we walked to the fiction section. I couldn’t understand why the librarian had suddenly burst into laugher upon the joke’s mentioning. It wasn’t that funny I thought…until I recalled the writer of Twilight had the last name Meyer, which turned out to be painfully close to Metcalfe. That’s right! I’m shelf buddies with Edward Cullen! And I’m not just near…I’m right beside. All well. At least people may notice my books now :)