Victory

To think, I thought I was waking up to a regular morning. I should have learned by now that my life involves no such mornings. I was discussing the issue I was having with SAMSUNG cartridge chips, and how they refused to work, with my mechanic. It’s in situations like this that I feel the need to force my mechanic to take an IQ test. I swear the man’s a genius. He brought up a very valid point.

You see, for the printer to know a cartridge has been used, it runs a short warm-up scan before being prepared to print. He pointed out that without this scan, the printer would have no idea the cartridge was used. Without the scan, my printer would work for once. It was something, but I had no idea how in hell we were going to stop the scan all together, and I also believed that the warm-up was important for other functions in the printer, making it a necessity. My mechanic suggested that we allow the scan to happen with a working chip, then change the cartridge to a used one, without it re-scanning. This way, the printer should believe it was working with a new chip, and do its work as required. The logic was sound, but the printer rescanned every time the ‘front tray’ (the opening that allows you to switch cartridges) was opened. When closed, it began re-scanning. This didn’t let us change the cartridges after scanning without it re-scanning. It was at this point that, believe it or not, I had a stellar idea.

I went to my printer and made sure it was off. I opened it and put in my only working chip (and new cartridges that cost $100). Instead of closing the tray, I located its sensor. A sensor is the point inside the tray that is held down then the door is closed. Simply put, it’s the thingy that tells the printer when the tray is closed. Instead of closing the door so the printer could be turned on and warmed up, I took a screwdriver and stuck it in the sensor, holding it down. As far as the printer would know, the tray was closed. Turning on my printer, the scan began. It read the cartridge and determined that It was a valid one. Once it was ready to print, I freely removed the cartridge and stuck in a used and refilled one. Seeing as the printer believed the door wasn’t opened, it also believed it was still working with the new cartridge. Then, with a great deal of satisfaction, I ordered it to print, and print it did. This means, whenever a scan commences, I only have to stick in my working chip, then without using it to print, I switch the cartridges and have at it!

The only note of caution is that you need a working chip for this to work. As long as you don’t actually print with it, theoretically, you should be able to keep this up forever! Perhaps SAMSUNG has another trick up its sleeve somewhere, and this isn’t my final challenge, but as my mechanic often says, “It’s all mechanical. At the simplest level, it’s just a series of small parts either moving or not. We just have to find the right part.” Wouldn’t you know it, the proper part was one of the easiest ones to get at. If you are dealing with a different problem when using your printer, or any other piece of technology, just keep in mind, you are smarter that it. The reason I won this victory was only because it doesn’t realize it’s main tray is open. Now my costs are cut in half, and Metcalfe Family Publishing is back in action.

VICTORY!!!

…Wrong!!!

Wouldn’t you know it, SAMSUNG’s magic struck again. Granted, I was able to print with chipless cartridges. It was a cool trick to have learned, but the printer was ready for it. I believe I have finally figured out how it works. Here is a small summery. Each chip has its own identity, which in itself is ludicrous, but it gets better. The printer reads the chip and keeps track of each one individually. That means its memory is capable of keeping track of copious identities. It can thus stop printing, with or without the chip. So as I was printing along, thinking I had outsmarted the thing, ‘Toner Exhausted’ eventually scared my eyes.

This was three to four weeks ago, and trust me, I was sick of printers. I would have to spend another one hundred dollars on another cartridge. I put this off however, having more than enough books printed to deal with. Though all this time, I didn’t so much as look at the stupid chips. I did my best to focus on the brighter sides of life, and was doing okay. I managed to find other things to work on, and have begun an exciting new project that I will touch on in a different post.

In the last few days, I have been working with a potential solution to my problems, a solution that literally called me up one night, and came knocking on my front door the following morning.

I had discussed my problems with an older cousin of mine about three months ago, and he had some suggestions. He was helpful at the time, and gave me a new direction to go in for a while. When, as usual, I hit a wall, and began trying other ideas. Interestingly enough however, he was the one calling me that particular evening. What amazing luck! His company had received a donation of two printers from the RCMP. As far as I know, they had been used to print counterfeit bills, and now had little purpose. My cousin was asked to “get these printers out of the way” and he called me almost immediately afterwards. After checking their model numbers and capacity, I found that one (an HP) didn’t print on both sides, so it wasn’t much good to me. The other one however, a titanic Minolta, was one of the most beautiful things I had seen in a while. I sent him an e-mail, outlining my assessment. I woke the following morning to find my cousin had made the long trip, and delivered the beauty. I looked it over in awe. Let me share the big jaw droppers.

It could take pages four times the size as my other printers. It took half the energy than my SAMSUNG to run. Its memory looked quite small. Finally, my personal favourite, I was made in 2002, a time before toner cartridge chips! Not only were these cartridges easily replaced, but they were easily reusable. On top of each was a little cap, ready to accept toner. I was ecstatic, and looked forward to trying it. If it could pump out counterfeit bills, it could certainly print books. I went to plug it in, when I found something rather aggravating. The connection cable was missing! This was a mission that needed doing.

Its greatest gift was also its greatest curse. Being made in 2002, it was not equipped with a USB cable port. It used something called a ‘parallel cable’, something I had never dealt with before. I later found out that it look a special kind, something called ‘mini-centronic cable end’. It took time, but I was able to have a local computer genius order an adapter for me. Now I wait, to see if all my problems are solved…or rather replaced. Every new piece of equipment is it’s own journey.

I was sitting in my office when my mechanic came in. We talked about this new printer a bit, discussed what I was doing on my computer, and a few other things, as we often do. “Let me see those damned chips again,” he said, “It’s time to destroy the pieces of crap.” By “destroy” I knew he went: begin trying things that could very well render the chip useless. He must have had a few ideas that had been too dangerous to attempt. Now however, it would be a pointless loss. Still I hoped his new ideas involved a hammer. I handed him a chip and he pulled out some sand paper. Ruthlessly, he used it to scratch one of the sensors on the chip until its golden surface was silver (the one labelled DATA). Handing it back to me, he said, “Try that.” Laughing, I decided to humour him.

…It worked.