Pay Off

As is the dream for most novelists, I had a desire to support myself by writing books alone. It didn’t take me long to realize how difficult this dream is to reach. You have to be incredibly well known to stand a chance in the writer’s market, if you’re hoping to have the craft feed you that is. Regardless, simply being published soon becomes the back-up dream that you turn to, and in my case, I took matters into my own hands. I self-published to the extreme, and have been in local bookstores for many months now. That is why today was something else.

You see, if a bookstore takes in your novels, they will give you a trial period. During this time, they will watch how well your books sell. If you sell enough in the allowed time, then they will take more books. If not, they will hand the books back. This isn’t the case in all bookstores. In some they will hold your books if they have enough shelf space to do so, but one store I was in had a trial period of six months. I haven’t counted to the day, but Solstice Books in Hanover has been shelving my books for about six months, and today I stopped by to see if he would take my latest book, ‘Survivor’. It was then I found out with relief, even astonishment, that my books have actually sold. He not only took the new book gladly, but asked me to ‘top off’ the rest of his stock. My favourite fact that hit me was that, without doubt, someone that I don’t know was a buyer of my novels. Everyone I know who came to this bookstore had already gotten a copy from me. I also found out that my books in Finchers have been selling as well. The said buyers came to my latest book launch seeking the new novel.

It is all very rewarding in its own way, but what did the trick was having the owner of Solstice Books hand me $34.90 for sales. It isn’t a lot of money, I know, but it was material proof that I had gotten somewhere. It was another step in a direction that suited me. By the looks of things, I only need to sell books in Millennia Books across the street from Solstice. They haven’t sold any of mine yet, and I’d like that to happen. I would feel a sense of security with them if that were to happen, so if you’re after a copy of any of my novels, just walk into Millennia and ask where Zack Metcalfe’s stuff is shelved. You’d make my day.

Foundations

It’s hard to believe really. Like all lasting projects or businesses, constructing a firm foundation to work on is essential. I have been working on MFP for eight months or so, and finally, I discovered yesterday how stable my foundation had finally become. With all my technology in place, all my contacts (most of them anyway) easily contacted and ordered from, and all supplies effectively figured, I am doing very well for myself. I am getting 5,000 sheets or paper for 35 dollars roughly. That’s enough for 100 books. My printer takes all the toner I damn well please, and toner itself can be gotten from anywhere and for any model, a reasonably easy find. My latest cover material, Bristol board from the bargain shop, gives me four covers for 77 cents. It’s wonderful stuff. I managed to download the test program for Microsoft word 2010. It’s called Microsoft Beta 2010, and it is a miracle worker for formatting. I can comfortably cram many more words per page, and my awesome Minolta is basically this program’s sole mate. This sting of facts came to mind yesterday, when I decided my latest book was ready to go.

This was an exciting time for me. This is, so critics say, my best novel yet, and I was looking forward to seeing it in print. I got myself ready for a fight, as is always the case when starting with a new book. I expected the dreaded ‘toner exhausted’ to somehow escape my SAMSUNG and crawl its way to my Minolta, dooming my efforts to failure. I was waiting to hear news of paper costs skyrocketing for no rational reason. I even daydreamed the police would come charging through my front door, shouting that printing cheap books on my own was illegal. With utter amazement, I formatted (20 min), I printed (5 min), I cut and pressed (30 min), then finally I bound and covered (20 min). Nothing failed on me. No supplies are even close to running low. Not a single piece of anything ignited out of spite or deactivated for the sake of money. Everything worked. I have a somewhat hard time believing how easy it happened to be, but I doubt that simplicity will continue. The fact remained that I have a foundation. I’m through the thick of it, and that’s priceless.

Backup

I had a grim reminder of how vulnerable my work is a week ago. Because I write novels for print, it is a necessity to do such writing on a computer, and have it in a digital state. In total, I had three complete books, and two well under way. My essay count was well over forty and I had three short stories I was very proud of. It hadn’t occurred to me how concentrated all of my work was. I didn’t realize that it was almost all on this simple computer. Six years worth of labour, all in one spot. Yes, my computer crashed, along with everything on it. Even my latest project, something separate from novel publication, was all lost. My precious photos and music was wiped clean. Much of it had come from local artists for book covers and such. It was offal.

It turned out my hard drive simply died, and it would need replacing. The information on it wasn’t easily retrievable, but thankfully, I had a single USB with all my novels back up on it…only a week before the crash. Previous to that week, I would have lost five months worth, in my stupidity. That would have cost me two entire books; all edits for the other three, and my short stories. My newest project, something that had taken the last month, has been lost completely. I hadn’t thought to back it up at all. I will have to restart. Much of my artwork and saved information I had gained from e-mails and facebook messages, which I luckily still had. Finally, all of my essays were online in some capacity or another. After spending a grand amount of money to have my computer fixed, I spend five hours reconstructing my computer and all it’s files. I have been set back a total of two weeks and $100 dollars, but it could have been much worse.

I could have lost the novel that took me five years to write. I could have lost all my saved formatting and editing. All of my work was at risk. Immediately after the crash, I knew that the single USB sitting on my desk was suddenly worth a few thousand dollars, and the feeling wasn’t comforting. I don’t know what I would have done had I truly been set back six years, so for goodness sakes, backup everything you care about. I’ve been trying to re-write the last weeks worth of work, and doing something you’ve already done is painful. I just know, that I had written it better the first time, and I have no choice but to push my way alone.

Victory

To think, I thought I was waking up to a regular morning. I should have learned by now that my life involves no such mornings. I was discussing the issue I was having with SAMSUNG cartridge chips, and how they refused to work, with my mechanic. It’s in situations like this that I feel the need to force my mechanic to take an IQ test. I swear the man’s a genius. He brought up a very valid point.

You see, for the printer to know a cartridge has been used, it runs a short warm-up scan before being prepared to print. He pointed out that without this scan, the printer would have no idea the cartridge was used. Without the scan, my printer would work for once. It was something, but I had no idea how in hell we were going to stop the scan all together, and I also believed that the warm-up was important for other functions in the printer, making it a necessity. My mechanic suggested that we allow the scan to happen with a working chip, then change the cartridge to a used one, without it re-scanning. This way, the printer should believe it was working with a new chip, and do its work as required. The logic was sound, but the printer rescanned every time the ‘front tray’ (the opening that allows you to switch cartridges) was opened. When closed, it began re-scanning. This didn’t let us change the cartridges after scanning without it re-scanning. It was at this point that, believe it or not, I had a stellar idea.

I went to my printer and made sure it was off. I opened it and put in my only working chip (and new cartridges that cost $100). Instead of closing the tray, I located its sensor. A sensor is the point inside the tray that is held down then the door is closed. Simply put, it’s the thingy that tells the printer when the tray is closed. Instead of closing the door so the printer could be turned on and warmed up, I took a screwdriver and stuck it in the sensor, holding it down. As far as the printer would know, the tray was closed. Turning on my printer, the scan began. It read the cartridge and determined that It was a valid one. Once it was ready to print, I freely removed the cartridge and stuck in a used and refilled one. Seeing as the printer believed the door wasn’t opened, it also believed it was still working with the new cartridge. Then, with a great deal of satisfaction, I ordered it to print, and print it did. This means, whenever a scan commences, I only have to stick in my working chip, then without using it to print, I switch the cartridges and have at it!

The only note of caution is that you need a working chip for this to work. As long as you don’t actually print with it, theoretically, you should be able to keep this up forever! Perhaps SAMSUNG has another trick up its sleeve somewhere, and this isn’t my final challenge, but as my mechanic often says, “It’s all mechanical. At the simplest level, it’s just a series of small parts either moving or not. We just have to find the right part.” Wouldn’t you know it, the proper part was one of the easiest ones to get at. If you are dealing with a different problem when using your printer, or any other piece of technology, just keep in mind, you are smarter that it. The reason I won this victory was only because it doesn’t realize it’s main tray is open. Now my costs are cut in half, and Metcalfe Family Publishing is back in action.

VICTORY!!!

…Wrong!!!

Wouldn’t you know it, SAMSUNG’s magic struck again. Granted, I was able to print with chipless cartridges. It was a cool trick to have learned, but the printer was ready for it. I believe I have finally figured out how it works. Here is a small summery. Each chip has its own identity, which in itself is ludicrous, but it gets better. The printer reads the chip and keeps track of each one individually. That means its memory is capable of keeping track of copious identities. It can thus stop printing, with or without the chip. So as I was printing along, thinking I had outsmarted the thing, ‘Toner Exhausted’ eventually scared my eyes.

This was three to four weeks ago, and trust me, I was sick of printers. I would have to spend another one hundred dollars on another cartridge. I put this off however, having more than enough books printed to deal with. Though all this time, I didn’t so much as look at the stupid chips. I did my best to focus on the brighter sides of life, and was doing okay. I managed to find other things to work on, and have begun an exciting new project that I will touch on in a different post.

In the last few days, I have been working with a potential solution to my problems, a solution that literally called me up one night, and came knocking on my front door the following morning.

I had discussed my problems with an older cousin of mine about three months ago, and he had some suggestions. He was helpful at the time, and gave me a new direction to go in for a while. When, as usual, I hit a wall, and began trying other ideas. Interestingly enough however, he was the one calling me that particular evening. What amazing luck! His company had received a donation of two printers from the RCMP. As far as I know, they had been used to print counterfeit bills, and now had little purpose. My cousin was asked to “get these printers out of the way” and he called me almost immediately afterwards. After checking their model numbers and capacity, I found that one (an HP) didn’t print on both sides, so it wasn’t much good to me. The other one however, a titanic Minolta, was one of the most beautiful things I had seen in a while. I sent him an e-mail, outlining my assessment. I woke the following morning to find my cousin had made the long trip, and delivered the beauty. I looked it over in awe. Let me share the big jaw droppers.

It could take pages four times the size as my other printers. It took half the energy than my SAMSUNG to run. Its memory looked quite small. Finally, my personal favourite, I was made in 2002, a time before toner cartridge chips! Not only were these cartridges easily replaced, but they were easily reusable. On top of each was a little cap, ready to accept toner. I was ecstatic, and looked forward to trying it. If it could pump out counterfeit bills, it could certainly print books. I went to plug it in, when I found something rather aggravating. The connection cable was missing! This was a mission that needed doing.

Its greatest gift was also its greatest curse. Being made in 2002, it was not equipped with a USB cable port. It used something called a ‘parallel cable’, something I had never dealt with before. I later found out that it look a special kind, something called ‘mini-centronic cable end’. It took time, but I was able to have a local computer genius order an adapter for me. Now I wait, to see if all my problems are solved…or rather replaced. Every new piece of equipment is it’s own journey.

I was sitting in my office when my mechanic came in. We talked about this new printer a bit, discussed what I was doing on my computer, and a few other things, as we often do. “Let me see those damned chips again,” he said, “It’s time to destroy the pieces of crap.” By “destroy” I knew he went: begin trying things that could very well render the chip useless. He must have had a few ideas that had been too dangerous to attempt. Now however, it would be a pointless loss. Still I hoped his new ideas involved a hammer. I handed him a chip and he pulled out some sand paper. Ruthlessly, he used it to scratch one of the sensors on the chip until its golden surface was silver (the one labelled DATA). Handing it back to me, he said, “Try that.” Laughing, I decided to humour him.

…It worked.

Bookies

The title has no real relevance to the post. I was just in a good enough mood to enjoy some wordplay. Today was the day I got into my first bookstore. Oh what an experience it was! I’ve been working towards this for a very long time. I can honestly say years.

This morning I made sure to get out of bed at the proper hour, dress warmly, then make the lengthy trip. Everything went swimmingly, except for the cursed Christmas music persisting over the radio. You could imagine how torturous it was for me, seeing as I was actually happy when Miley Cyrus took over.

Besides the crappy music, I entered a modest little place called Solstice Books in good spirits, and put my books on the front counter. The man knew who I was instantly, and offered his hand with a cheery smile. I had only communicated with him through E-mail, so this was a welcome change for us both. The interaction forced me to smile to myself, seeing the surprise in his eyes as he finally became aware of my young age. After some simple paper word, I shook his hand again and exited the building with a newly inspired confidence. Taking that confidence, I decided I wasn’t stopping there for today.

I returned to my vehicle and picked up an extra copy of each book, marching onward to a slightly larger bookstore. I had E-mailed this particular place about taking my book already, but hadn’t gotten a response after a three-week wait. As a very intelligent woman once said to me, it is hard to refuse someone to their face. Once inside, I asked around until I found the owner. I was surprised to find out she knew exactly who I was, and honestly hadn’t deleted my E-mail. She just had a great many things on her plate at the moment. Wouldn’t you know it, she was happy that I had showed up. Me coming in personally saved her much work on the computer. She offered potential ideas for sales, I chose one that suited me, and the two of us signed the paper word. I handed over the two books I held, browsed the store, then left with a ‘thank you’.

After picking up some more paper and grabbing something I think may just word for new cover material, I headed home. It was a very productive day, and I can’t deny some level of pride. I managed to signed agreements with two bookstores in a single day. Even if none of the books sell, I’ll still be content.

Long Time No Type

It has been a very long time since I last reported anything on behalf of Metcalfe Family Publishing. There has been a glaring and aggravating reason why. In short, nothing has been happening! I do recall mentioning a small problem I was having with SAMSUNG technology, as I usually am. The situation got tricky, then it got lengthy. I will see how well I could summarize this.

To start, know that each new toner cartridge comes with a chip, which for the longest time I was convinced didn’t do anything. This little assumption came from me being able to use a starter cartridge that has no chip at all. So that led me to believe that the problem was mechanical. There was something, I thought, inside each cartridge that was telling my printer it was empty. It wasn’t empty of course, because I was pumping it full of toner myself. Still my printer refused to work, constantly flashing ‘toner exhausted’ on its tiny view screen.

So, in this mindset, a licensed mechanic, a licensed electrician, and myself dedicated much of our time into taking a cartridge apart, learning its secrets, and putting it back together. The first day was probably the hardest physically. We must have taken that thing apart twenty times. It took so long. Every time we think we changed something, the contraption had to be re-assembled and tested in the printer. No luck on our first day. Sure enough, we tackled it again, and again, and again. It was starting to wear on my nerves. I had waited an eternity for my toner shipment to come in, and on the eave of being able to print again, I ran into the curse known as: toner exhaustion. After all these trifles, I finally caved. I needed a new cartridge, and a new chip. (Keep in mind, it was the chip I actually needed. I had plenty of working cartridges, and there was only $10 worth of toner in a new one. I have $300 worth sitting in a box behind me. I was paying $96 for a bloody chip!)

Anyway, I have come to the following conclusion about the system’s workings. Each chip is able to read how many pages have been printed with it. After one and a half refills, the chip stops the printer from using it. The printer has it’s own memory, that keeps track of how many pages have been printed using chipless cartridges, and only allows for the equivalent of one cartridge being refilled the same number of times with an unused chip. That means my printer will no longer accept chipless cartridges, because I’ve ‘used all the credit’ so to speak. This led me to an idea. If the printer was keeping track of all chipless cartridges, then all I needed to do was somehow reset my printers memory, then maybe it would accept chipless cartridges again! This turned out to be a disappointment. I looked through the manual, I opened up the printer and looked for the memory chip (too complicated to be messing with), I even called SAMSUNG worldwide, and talked to some young woman looking at the same guide as myself. Nothing worked. It is very hard for me to believe that SAMSUNG designers created this printer with ludicrous people like myself in mind. They managed to make it obsessor proof.

My attention was turned back to the cursed chips. My electrician and mechanic took a new working chip and an old crap chip. They took all kind of weird machines and testers to both chips, trying to find out why one worked, and the other refused. No dice. They read out exactly the same.

Though, after having sat in my office for hours, starring loathingly at my printer, trying to use mind power to somehow force it out my window and have it fall the three-story drop, I think I finally figured out how it was stopping me. I think I know how the printer somehow knows that the cartridge has been used, despite the fact the chips act no different. The answer was so simple…Magic. SAMSUNG has some elderly witch in a sweatshop somewhere, enchanting chip after chip as they pass by, ensuring that the efforts of any mere mortal couldn’t possibly crack the problem. That’s my running theory anyway.

My only remaining option is to find where I can get those chips for far less that $96. For now however, I am printing again, and will hopefully be in my first bookstore by Monday! Hell, I should put all my money into bushcraft lessons and start living in the forest early…why wait?

Book Launch

After much preparation, I took a trip to the old high school today for my long awaited book launch. It really has been an amazing experience getting this far. I only graduated from that school last year, so I saw many dear friends and teachers. Initially, I had the simple intention of stopping by the library and seeing if anyone was interested in a book. Once I mentioned the idea to one of the teachers, they wouldn’t have it! A great deal of the staff got behind me and insisted that this turn into a full scale book launch, and it certainly did. They contacted the local radio and newspaper, seeing if they could announce the event. I ended up going in for an interview with the paper and writing a small essay to the radio. Sure enough, they ran with it. Posters were put up in the school and I even merited the morning announcements. I was astonished to have been so powerfully supported by the community surrounding me, (one teacher in particular got the ball rolling). It would appear the idea of self-publication easily catches the eyes of the majority.

It would appear I don’t get out nearly enough, because showing my face in public yesterday and today actually got some response. Don’t take this as a sign of arrogance. I’m just not use to, “you’re that young man who was in the paper, aren’t you?” People actually knew who I was as I carried my box of books around (not that this wasn’t enough of a give away).

When I first got there, I only spoke to a few individuals, calmly waiting my turn in the library. Honestly, I was hoping to hear how live had been for others recently, instead of having them inquire about the book business. It comes to the point when I’m just sick of talking about books. Because I’m so rarely seen, people can only be sure that I have been working on my books. Not much else could be happening to me in my little office, hidden away from the world.

To begin the book launch, I was asked to do a reading before actually selling anything. I was expecting a solid…five people to show up. Wouldn’t you know it, I had a total of thirty, sitting and watching me read the prologue of my first novel. It was alien for me to be reading out loud like that, but I had undergone my share of practice, so it went well. I found trying to make a female voice overly difficult however. Being on the tail end of my teen years, my voice isn’t as flexible as it used to be. I was given applause, and I thanked the many people involved in making this little dream a reality.

Finally, I was able to start my sales, and start I did! Teachers and students came forward and offered me paper support (money) while I handed back paper labour (books). I sold upwards of thirty books, and not a single buyer would accept their copy without my signature. Any buyers that had forgotten initially, well, they hunted me down. Even the school library came and bought a few copies. That was the real kicker for me.

At the end of the day, after having visited a few classes and spoken to a few old friends, I returned to the library. I went to the librarian and asked if I could put my books on the shelf. She said I could, and ran to get her camera. She was one of my many friends at the school, and insisted that this moment was worth documenting.

Now keep in mind, I have nothing against the book series Twilight. I think if you enjoy the story and writing style, that’s your opinion alone. Still I felt the need to make the joke.

“I’m content as long as I’m not beside the Twilight series,” I jested, as we walked to the fiction section. I couldn’t understand why the librarian had suddenly burst into laugher upon the joke’s mentioning. It wasn’t that funny I thought…until I recalled the writer of Twilight had the last name Meyer, which turned out to be painfully close to Metcalfe. That’s right! I’m shelf buddies with Edward Cullen! And I’m not just near…I’m right beside. All well. At least people may notice my books now :)

SAMSUNG

I’ve run into some frustrating times when it comes to this printer model. As is true for the entire process of creating your own books, it’s a learning curve. Even though I understand this, it’s simply aggravating to think I had the printer beaten when I really didn’t. Allow be to describe my previous system. I had two toner cartridges, both I had emptied. Now these toner cartridges some with a chip that allows them to connect with the printer. This damned chip tells the printer how many pages it’s allowed to print. One of the cartridges mind you (the cartridge that came with the printer in the first place, called the “Starter cartridge”) doesn’t have a chip. Anyway, I use the starter cartridge until the printer says “Toner empty: Replace toner”. So, I bought the second one and ran it until I was given the same message. I found out however (being pleasantly surprised as well as angered) that if I simply click print again, it would continue printing. I was able to get an extra two copies out of each cartridge. So, this machine will insist that you get a new toner cartridge, despite there is still a few hundred pages worth still in the one it claims in empty. The lesson I learned being: The chips really don’t seem to have all that much power over anything. You click print, and it’ll continue until your pages come out faded. Defiantly keep an eye on what you’re printing once it claims to be empty. If you don’t catch it the moment it starts fading, you’ll waste paper. The other lesson was the annoying one. SAMSUNG designed their machine to cut out earlier than needed. I know this could be for safety reasons when it comes to wasting paper, but read on. It gets better.

The first time I contacted by toner-refilling people, they said that SAMSUNG couldn’t be refilled because of those chips. I told them that they continued to print if I ordered it to. As an experiment for both my toner buddies and myself, they refilled it for free and let me give it a try. I put the cartridge back into the printer and waited for it to ‘warm up’. Once it was ready it flashed the following warning: “Toner empty: Replace toner”. Wouldn’t you know it, I click print and my books come shooting out. It’s a bloody miracle! Despite the fact the cartridge was full, the machine still wanted me to replace it. Those chips weren’t designed to inform you when the cartridge was empty. They were designed so those cartridges could only give you 2,500 pages worth. SAMSUNG doesn’t want those things refilled. This way you keep buying. Now keep in mind all of this information is coming from my bias, and was not passed into me from a SAMSUNG professional. So as you should with all opinions, take my words with plenty of salt. But don’t discount me yet. There’s more!

First you need a bit of back information. There are two types of SAMSUNG toner cartridge for my specific model. There is the small and the large. The small costs $89 and gives 2,500 pages worth of toner. The large is $139 and gives 5,000 pages worth. Note that the physical difference between the small and large cartridges is almost non-existent. Quite literally, there is an open space in the ‘smalls’ where a second toner tube could be added. Then whamo!, you have a large one. This is where the back store ends. Now back to the bias.

No matter where you shop, and I mean no matter where (unless you were standing in the SAMSUNG manufacturing plant), you will not be able to find the large toner cartridges for sale. I checked Basic, Holst, and Staples. They only carry the small ones. The larger ones can only be gotten if you order them in. Instantly I think of marketing advantages and it comes to me pretty easily what SAMSUNG’s up to. By making the larger toner cartridges very difficult to get, they are increasing the amount of people buying the smaller ones. If you buy a smaller one, you will be needing toner far sooner, and you will have paid much more than needed. Let’s do some math again. In order to get 5,000 pages worth of toner using small cartridges, you will need to buy two of them, which is $178. This is what I (and I’m sure many others) were forced to do. Where as if we had the option of buying a single large one, you could get 5,000 pages worth for $139. So, let’s assume we’re SAMSUNG for a second, and we look at our statistical gains. What do you know, we make more money if we only have the smaller cartridges in stores, and have the large ones on order.

Now if the last bunch of information wasn’t enough to convince you that they are doing this all on purpose, then let me show you a real humdinger. I brought my small cartridge into my toner re-fillers and asked if they could simply slip in another toner tube and make it a large cartridge. I require a visual aid to explain why they couldn’t.



You see those depressions in the plastic right beneath where it says ‘SAMSUNG’ and above where all those little safety symbols are? Those are called trenches. What SAMSUNG has done is make those trenches so that the space below it is filled (meaning nothing else came be put there). Can you guess what that space was used for? That’s right. It was for the extra toner tube. SAMSUNG made those trenches so that these cartridges couldn’t be upgraded, and therefore, re-filled for dirt-cheap.

Now I’m not trying to sound cynical, but I’ve been working with this stuff for a while, dealing with it’s bull%$#@ for two months now. Maybe in my mind I’m trying to find a reason to hate SAMSUNG, but regardless, these descriptions of their technology are true. I only typing it up to be informative. But guess what! It’s not over!

As I’ve explained before, I have been re-filling my own toner cartridges because it’s considerable cheaper. With two home, refilled cartridges, I began printing. Usually I could get 15 copies out of each. When the first cartridge reached it’s tenth copy, it stopped. Instead of saying, “Toner empty: Replace toner”, It switched to “Toner exhausted”. I tried clicking print again as I always do, but it just wouldn’t do it. Not that the pages I was printing hadn’t started to fade yet, so I know there is still toner in there. (This is the cartridge without a chip). Now as far as I can tell, there is no identifying electronic material on that cartridge, so how in all hell could my printer recognize it and reject it (After it had been working through two different re-fills already)? Someone I know and trust said that if the cartridge were re-filled again, he believes it will continue printing. I have no idea how, but I’m willing to give it a shot. Immediately after this, I put in the other cartridge and started printing. The books started fading after only ten!!! It should have lasted for much longer. I was later informed that if a green drum within the cartridge is exposed to light for too long, it wares out. This drum is mean to create a negative charge and catch the toner during the printing process (or some crap like that). I had it sitting out for days on end without knowing this. Because of this, my toner was going to a spot in the cartridge for waste toner (note on waste toner at the end of article).

So, I can easily replace the drum, but first I have to buy it (along with more toner). As for my cartridge that has suddenly stopped working because it was designed to get me buying replacements (or so I believe) I have still not found a way around it. Like mentioned, it’s a learning curve, and one I intend to graph (math joke…sorry). One thing I can promise you, I’m not buying another toner cartridge unless it’s my absolute last option (mainly because I have no money!)

Waste Toner: There is a little compartment in each cartridge where all the waste toner is stored. You know what the difference between toner and waste toner? Nothing! Not that I’ve been able to determine anyway. It simply wasn’t used, and the cartridge had to store the particles it didn’t catch and use. So, when you open a toner cartridge, do it above something that is clean and ready to catch falling toner (it more or less pores out). I’m more than confident that it can be re-used. If you would sooner play it safe, wait a week and let me try.

Formatting

I’m sure there are countless ways to do this on countless programs, which is the leading problem for me right now. To explain how I do it may limit you to the one way that has worked for me. So, I will make an effort to be as general as I can. Also understand that I am a die-hard loyal user of the 1997 version of Microsoft Word. Trust me, I have had plenty of opportunities to update, and even have far more expensive programs (i.e. Open Office) but I don’t use them. To date, I haven’t found a single feature any of them have that my 1997 version doesn’t. The only difference is the user-friendliness. In that regard, my program wins by a bloody mile. If the following information is of no use to you, then e-mail me with your problem. Maybe I could think of something.

To start, you must find the ‘printing properties’ for your program. They may be hiding in ‘File’ somewhere. If they are not there, you can simply click print and it’ll bring up the printing options menu. “Properties” should be right next to the printer model you’re using. Assuming you have a double-sided printer (duplex), you should be able to find the setting ‘Layout options’ or ‘Layout type’. Search through their options until you find ‘Booklet printing’. It’ll print the entire book in this beautiful fashion. On the front page it will print the first and last page side by side. Flip the page over and you’ll find the second and second-last pages there. Once printing is complete, take out the pages, and fold them over. You’ll find the book is in perfect order from first to last page. At this point, you will simply use your paper cutter to cut the two halves from each other. Afterwards, you can start binding. But don’t click print just yet. There is more to this.

When in this printing mode, the printer will automatically scale down your document. Meaning, if you were to print a word document (in the booklet printing mode) your words would be so small they couldn’t be red. This is why you have to scale everything up to compensate. What I do is: change my words to font 18 (times new roman), Extend my vertical margins as far as I can, and (believe it or not) make my horizontal margins smaller. This is because (after you cut the pages) you will need the room. You don’t want any readers to be prying their book open too violently just to see the words.

A trick I learned to get around the last mentioned problem involves mirror margins. It is when you move all the text “over”. You move it away from what will become the spine of your book. This, if you’re visualizing it right, should be impossible. If you move the margins to the right, let’s say, then the text on page one will be away from the spine as you planned. However, consider that the text on page two will have moved towards the spin by the same amount. This is why you must find ‘page setup’ which should also be hiding under ‘File’. My program will no doubt be somewhat different, but not by much. What you are looking for is a checkbox labelled ‘mirror margins’. It should be in the ‘margins’ section (who would have guessed). The small diagram of the page in this section should be replaced with two instead of one (once you check the mirror margin option). Now you can play with the setting (which should be just above the ‘mirror margins’ option). As you can see, whatever you change on page one, will be done to the same degree to page two, except in the opposite direction. This way you can move the text away from the spine with no trouble. Page one and three will have the same margins, while pages two and four have different ones.

Now for the finishing touches. You will need a page number and a header (if you so choose). For the page number, simply go to ‘Insert’ and click on ‘page numbers’. It will give you an option as to the position of the numbers. I would recommend having it in the top or bottom centre. Having it in the right or left corners leaves you with the problem of having it too close to the spine on every other page. If you want a header, then by all means have it. If you don’t know what a header is, open any book and look at the words on the very top of the page. They will often say the book’s title, and the author’s name. It’s a formality really, but one I’ve chosen not to go without. Anyway, go to ‘View’ and click on ‘header and footer’. It’ll open text boxes on the top and bottom on each page. Put what you’d like, but remember, you can have fun with it. Seeing as you don’t have to worry about the ‘professional’ advice from some hired editor, this book is truly in your hands. For example, I put the name of my book and my own name as my header, but I put in ‘symbols’ font, so it looks something like this.

Enyalius Metcalfe A People’s sickness

Why the hell not? Look through books that you think have interesting formats and maybe adopt a few ideas. Something I would recommend is starting chapters on a new page every time. As mentioned before, there are many different ways to format, so take the time to truly understand your program, and have some fun. You can make it a unique creation and still have it be appealing. Yet one of the many perks of self-publication.

Cover page

Designing a cover page is the fun part, and by far the easy part. Finding the proper material to print your art onto, now that’s a very different story. Originally, I used something called ‘cover stock’. It’s something you can find at your local Basics or Staples. It’s just 67-pound paper really. It only comes in 8.5 by 11 however, so it’s useable sizes are very limited. Not only that, but it was very sensitive to water. So, you end up with a very easily damaged book. I had to get more creative with later copies.

I moved immediately from this ‘cover stock’ to what I use today. At first I thought it was simple Bristol board. I was able to get it at Staples for $1.89 a sheet (that’s enough for four book covers). It had the colour gold on one side, and silver on the other. Its caption was ‘Two Cool Colours!’ This is where my old Brother printer came into the picture. It could do coloured images, so I printed out all my covers on this double coloured material. With a gold or silver background, the pictures had to look good. It wasn’t until I tried using different types of Bristol board did I realize how lucky I had gotten. I found that because of a thin layer of coating on most Bristol board, neither ink nor toner could produce a decent picture. This doubt coloured board was somehow unique in that it allowed the ink to saturate it. With any other material, I could wipe the ink off immediately after printing.

Though the double coloured board has been working fine, I’m soon going to try other types. The best covers I’ve been able to make thus far has been using watercolour paper. The ink works wonders on it, and allows the final product to be usefully flexible. The only reason I don’t make every book of the watercolour paper is because of cost, yet again. If cost weren’t such a factor, my books would look awesome!

Paper cutters

Unless you intend to create a book that is 8.5 by 11 inches, then a paper cutter is a necessity. Something rather tricky about cutting your paper is the fact that your document on the computer has to be properly formatted to match the size your going for (formatting will be covered in a later post). What I do is simply cut my pages clean in half, and format everything accordingly. Now the specific type of paper cutter you are using is crucial. I learned all the following information the hard way. As with printers, there are only two types of cutters I concern myself with.

First is the scissor cutter, consisting of one blade that can be pulled up and down in an obvious motion.

This device often comes with some kind of safety guard attached just over the cutting edge. “In all honesty, it’s a useless and aggravating safety precaution. It limits the amount of paper you can feed into it at a time.” Now this was my thinking, to the letter, when I first got my hands on one of these things. Wouldn’t you know it, that guard was there partially so you knew how many pages could be cut at once. In fact, it allowed more room than it shouldn’t have. I nearly destroyed the device by trying to cut upwards of thirty sheets of paper in one go. When it comes to making books, you can’t expect to cut a single copy in three or four different cuts. It wouldn’t come out even. The scissor cutter is no good for cutting a book in half after printing. I use it to make cover pages only. So, I was forced to upgrade.

The guillotine paper cutter, my personal favourite, brings the titanic blade down, thanks to the help of a leaver, easily cutting through 500 sheets of helpless paper.

Not only does it have a marker to allow the perfect measurement, but also it has a clamp to hold the paper in place. It does the job, and with little to no problems. However, finding the one right for you can be difficult.

When I first realized I was going to need a paper cutter, I started throwing phone calls everywhere. You would think the things easy to fine, but that was not the case. Even Staples didn’t have any in stock. Now when I mean paper cutter, I mean the guillotine cutter. Having a scissor cutter is just a luxury. (Mine was listed for $50. I snatched her for $20.) Anyway, my beautiful paper cutter cost me $180, not counting tax. I think it was over priced, but it’s proving its worth. I had to drive to Toronto to get the damned thing (for me, a three hour drive). It was from a small business called All Image Printing (AIP).

http://www.allimageprinting.com/

Like I said, overpriced I thought. If you are going to go to them, be wary. I’m not saying they weren’t nice enough. Just understand that they are running a business, and their goal is to sell a product. When there, they tried selling me a ‘cover folder’ (something easily done with two rulers) and a ‘book-binding machine’. Remember those glorified glue-guns I mentioned earlier? This thing personified just that. I don’t think it would have done that good of a job, the guy selling it had never used it, and it was $360! I could create fifty binding contraptions for that kind of money, as could you. (Trust me, your going to need the money for toner.) So, my final tips are simple. Take your time and find a good guillotine paper cutter for as cheap as you can. If you can get a scissor cutter for dirt cheap, then it may be worth the convenience. I leave it to your judgement

One's Reasoning

It is a painful statistic that 0.5% of people who actually write a novel get published. That is half of one percent. Something that becomes obvious to someone who has tried to get published is that everyone else is undergoing the same procedures as you in order to stand out. For example, they will follow the ‘when formula’ for query letters. They will try to rake up a list of publications or credentials. They may even spend the twenty or thirty dollars in order to have their manuscripts printed and sent to the companies themselves, where their work is added to the ‘slush pile’ and probably not even glanced at. Soon they will turn to literary agent to represent their work, only to find that these agents have a slush pile of their own. I am just such a person. I learned after four years of writing my first novel, that the publication process was difficult at best.

After querying every publishing company and literary agent in North America who claimed to accept fiction, I was bombarded with e-mail packed full of the horrific work unfortunately. It came to the point where I didn’t bother reading the whole e-mail, because they were all the same. Unfortunately was all I needed to see.
In response to these aggravating e-mails and lack of process, I looked into self-publication, a beautiful thing. The idea was simple. I could pay a printing company to produce my book instead of having a publishing company do it. In this case, I did the investing rather than a publishing company. I would be forced to do the selling as well, but I didn’t feel as though I had much choice anymore. As time went on, and I got closer and closer to sending in my novel and a check for $1499 to the printing company (this was for fifty copies of my novel), I was forced to question myself. Was this really self-investment?

I’ve grown to learn a great deal about true self-reliance. The quotation “invest in yourself” has become one of my family mottoes, something my father discovered in a fortune cookie during his teen years. Somehow I didn’t feel as if I was doing it justice, and I stood to lose a great deal of money if the printing company didn’t pull through. It was then I was given the idea for true self-investment. After having a long conversation with a professional novelist, he asked, “Why the hell do you want someone else to make your books for you? You seem like a determined guy. Do it yourself!” From that day on, I was unable to look at books the same way again. I analyzed their very structure and questioned their design. It occurred to me how simple their construction really was. In most cases, they were truly just paper and glue! It was then I decided it was time to get creative.

After the investment of exactly $962.41, I have created my own small-scale publishing company, and am sitting next to over sixty books that I have shaped with my own two hands (many others already sold). Keep in mind this was an extensive learning process, and much of that money went towards trial and error. I have no doubt that I could make these sixty books from scratch within two weeks for half the cost…now.
I have founded Metcalfe Family Publishing, and the experience has been so rewarding. I have made many useful friends and contacts. I have learned every step of creating my own homemade books. I’ve been able to maintain complete ownership of my written work, having rejected the idea of selling for royalties. With effort and creativity, anyone’s personal project came be in print for friend or family (perhaps even books stores depending on you intentions).

Do not get me wrong. I have no problem with publishing companies at all. They publish what they believe will make money, which they have to in order to compete. They most certainly can’t afford to publish too many books at a time. They play it safe and often work with successful and well-known authors instead of new comers. Just because one’s work wasn’t accepted by a company, does not mean that it wasn’t worthy. That is why self-publication is an asset. I will go over the dynamics of the printing and binding processes at a later date. In the mean time…edit! (Trust me, there is always something you can do to improve your own work.)